The "Dreaded" Mother's Day

Probably not everyone thinks that Mother's Day is dreaded but I am here to tell you different. Have you ever tried to go and buy a card for Mother's Day and not have a living child?? I've tried to go and buy some for my MISS moms and a card does not exist. I keep telling Brian that Hallmark needs to get with it even if we don't have a living child!!! I was on my MISS website and I found this interesting fact about how Mother's Day was actually started. Here is the article:

I was intrigued, as I found out that the founder of Mother’s day was inspired by the intense pain she witnessed in mothers who had lost children (sons to war). I did a little research online. Here was what I found. . . . Mother's Day was originally called Mother’s Day for PeaceThe first Mother's Day was in 1870, when women gathered to mourn losing their sons in the Civil War. The original Mother's Day Proclamation by Julia Ward Howe from 1870 is a timeless reminder of the profound loss and pain war creates for all mothers, but it also deeply recognizes that from such loss and pain can come a fierce determination and power within all mothers, to join each other, and give rise to the birth of peace.

So.... It was originally started for women who lost their sons in war. It's amazing how we have gotten so far from the reason it was originally started. I sometimes call these holidays "Hallmark Holidays" (how they make money). Last year for father's day I had to make Brian a card on the computer and color it myself because they just don't exist. Hopefully in the future someone at Hallmark will get a clue and count us as mothers and fathers because we are. We miss our little ones like crazy!!!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

Fundraising!

So we are starting the process of fundraising. We have many family members who are gracious and kind that are giving us the money for the adoption but we would like to raise some money so they don't have to give so much. I learned how to make mesh bags this past summer and they are a blast!! They are very easy and fast to make. A friend of mine is also going to help make them so I'm hoping I'm not sewing 500 bags!! Oh well, if I have to though to help make this process easier.

I'm going to be the sewer and Brian is the seller. I told him to go out and market and just tell me what to make. We are probably going to have about 5 different fabrics at a time and rotate when I sell out of a fabric. I'm going to buy enough fabric to make 15 bags but if it is very popular than I will of course buy more!! A very good friend of mine Corinne is making a website for me to market the bags and it's going to be called http://www.adoptatote.com/. I'm so excited and can't wait to get it up and going. Brian designed the logo and it's very neat. Here is a picture of 3 of the bags that I did this weekend. Let me know what you think. I will definitely be sending out a BIG email to let everyone know when the website is ready!!!

I have already sold one bag!!!! We are so excited!!!!

Profile Complete!!

Our profile for the domestic adoption is completed. YEAH!!! Brian and I have been working on it nonstop from Thursday until 1100 last night. I'm so glad that it is done. Personally, I think that it looks pretty good because I'm not the most creative person in the world. We are going to have it proofed and then take it to Kinko's and they will print 5 copies and bind them. We should be mailing them off by the end of next week. Then the waiting begins. We will have done everything in our power and I'm just going to have to be patient.

We are going on a cruise in May and I'm so excited. There are 19 of us going together because it's my parents 35th anniversary and our 5th. A bunch of relatives that I haven't seen in a long time are going and it's just going to be great. We are going to go snorkeling and do a bunch of drinking!!

I'm giving a shout out to all of my MISS moms!!! You guys are great and I can't wait to go to dinner on Wednesday. We are going to have to keep going out to eat every other week for all of our mental health!!!

Decisions....Decisions

Well, the Vietnam adoption is officially off!!! We have decided not to pursue going to Vietnam because the USCIS has decided that they are now requiring DNA tests from the birthmother and baby. They want DNA samples before a referral is done and also before issuing a visa. Also the agreement between the US and Vietnam expires on Sept 1st. It it just too risky for us so we have changed our plan. We are going to adopt........domestically. We have not decided what agency we are going to use yet but we are in the process of making a profile. A profile is a variety of info such as family, jobs, vacations, extended family and a bunch of pictures. Hopefully we will be finishing it soon.

So, we are on a journey for Claire or Finn. I guess we will all have to wait and see what happens!!!

10 years ago today

10 years ago today I was admitted to the hospital. Little did I know what I was about to learn was going to impact my life dramatically! I had been complaining about my arm for a couple of days when I raised it above my head but I really didn't think about it. I woke up on a Tuesday morning and my arm was purple from the upper part of my arm all the way to my fingertips. I worked for a MD at the time so I went to his office and he immediatly sent me to the cardiologist upstairs. When I arrived, they said they were going to admit me for some tests. I thought- no big deal. I'll be in and out in no time. While doing all of this- I'm a freshmen in college!!

After I got to the hospital, I was admitted and it was found that I had a DVT (blood clot) in my right sub-clavian. For those that don't know where that is- it's right under your collar bone. So, for the next seven days, I endured the ICU, tons of poking and proding, throwing up, and lots of visits by my most amazing family and friends!!! So, I was diagnosed with Antiphophosolipid Antibody Syndrome. I was told that I had to take Coumadin (blood thinner) for the rest of my life. But don't worry- it shouldn't change my lifestyle too much. For the most part- it is just another interesting fact about me and I have to take some meds.

BUT the worst thing in my life ever- because of this syndrome I lost my precious baby girl Grace Addison whom I would die to have back in my life again!!! Not a day goes by that don't grieve for her, talk to her, cry for her and wish I could do anything to have her back. I have had a really hard time lately with everything because March 21 was my due date with her and I should have been celebrating her 1st birthday. But no, no one remembered that day (that is okay with me) and it was extremely hard for me. I celebrate her angel day and that is the day that I want everyone to remember so I guess it was and is private grieving that I'm going through. Honestly- it just SUCKS!!! I never thought in a million years that I would not be able to have children because I have loved and cared for so many throughout my childhood.

There's no real point to this post but I just needed to get it out. I feel at times that I just want to scream and this is one of them. I just wish that I could have my baby back.

The picture at the top is my favorite picture of Grace!!!

Just waiting!

Well, our homestudy is going to the state to be approved and of course it costs money! We have to send $160.00 and then hopefully we will hear something early next week and then send it our I600-A with $670 plus $80.00 per person for fingerprinting to USCIS. We already did our fingerprints for the homestudy and it only cost $10. I wonder where all this money is going??? I have heard that this process takes 6-12 weeks and I'm hoping for the shorter end. I will probably have to throw a fit to get it moving faster. I don't get why it takes so long and costs so much money. That's that latest with us.

WAITING!!!

Our homestudy has been done for almost a month now but we are still waiting. The paperwork had to be sent to the state before we can actually send in our I600A and submit our homestudy with it. I'm so tired of waiting. I keep telling myself to be patient, but it's hard. Knowing that we have a deadline and if we don't meet it, we will be waiting much longer!! Possibly another year?? I don't know but I sure would like to make the deadline. I will post as soon as we send in our I600A.