10 years ago today

10 years ago today I was admitted to the hospital. Little did I know what I was about to learn was going to impact my life dramatically! I had been complaining about my arm for a couple of days when I raised it above my head but I really didn't think about it. I woke up on a Tuesday morning and my arm was purple from the upper part of my arm all the way to my fingertips. I worked for a MD at the time so I went to his office and he immediatly sent me to the cardiologist upstairs. When I arrived, they said they were going to admit me for some tests. I thought- no big deal. I'll be in and out in no time. While doing all of this- I'm a freshmen in college!!

After I got to the hospital, I was admitted and it was found that I had a DVT (blood clot) in my right sub-clavian. For those that don't know where that is- it's right under your collar bone. So, for the next seven days, I endured the ICU, tons of poking and proding, throwing up, and lots of visits by my most amazing family and friends!!! So, I was diagnosed with Antiphophosolipid Antibody Syndrome. I was told that I had to take Coumadin (blood thinner) for the rest of my life. But don't worry- it shouldn't change my lifestyle too much. For the most part- it is just another interesting fact about me and I have to take some meds.

BUT the worst thing in my life ever- because of this syndrome I lost my precious baby girl Grace Addison whom I would die to have back in my life again!!! Not a day goes by that don't grieve for her, talk to her, cry for her and wish I could do anything to have her back. I have had a really hard time lately with everything because March 21 was my due date with her and I should have been celebrating her 1st birthday. But no, no one remembered that day (that is okay with me) and it was extremely hard for me. I celebrate her angel day and that is the day that I want everyone to remember so I guess it was and is private grieving that I'm going through. Honestly- it just SUCKS!!! I never thought in a million years that I would not be able to have children because I have loved and cared for so many throughout my childhood.

There's no real point to this post but I just needed to get it out. I feel at times that I just want to scream and this is one of them. I just wish that I could have my baby back.

The picture at the top is my favorite picture of Grace!!!

Just waiting!

Well, our homestudy is going to the state to be approved and of course it costs money! We have to send $160.00 and then hopefully we will hear something early next week and then send it our I600-A with $670 plus $80.00 per person for fingerprinting to USCIS. We already did our fingerprints for the homestudy and it only cost $10. I wonder where all this money is going??? I have heard that this process takes 6-12 weeks and I'm hoping for the shorter end. I will probably have to throw a fit to get it moving faster. I don't get why it takes so long and costs so much money. That's that latest with us.

WAITING!!!

Our homestudy has been done for almost a month now but we are still waiting. The paperwork had to be sent to the state before we can actually send in our I600A and submit our homestudy with it. I'm so tired of waiting. I keep telling myself to be patient, but it's hard. Knowing that we have a deadline and if we don't meet it, we will be waiting much longer!! Possibly another year?? I don't know but I sure would like to make the deadline. I will post as soon as we send in our I600A.