Sunday, July 27, 2008

An amazing man!

I'm sure most of you have heard about Randy Pausch- "The Last Lecture." He gave a lecture to his fellow colleagues. This lecture is so inspirational. He make syou want to be a better person. This video below is what was seen on Oprah after he had given the lecture. He inspires me to be a better person and just be me!! I hope that everyone will take time to watch this 10 minute segment because it will definitely be worth it.

Sorry- I can't figure out how to get one of the videos off!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The adventures in adoption

I never knew you could be so high one second and in the pit of hell the next. We have had a few emotional, exciting, interesting 4 days. We got a call on Friday that our profile was going to be shown to a family that was having a baby girl. We were elated!! I should not have gotten so happy. I kept telling myself that there were 2 other couples besides ourselves and it wouldn't be the end of the world if it didn't happen. Needless to say, the weekend was excruciating!! But, we made it through.

Birthmom #1- pregnant by an affair and the family does not know she is pregnant. She has children and is telling them that the baby dies (why baby does not come home from hospital). I just can't imagine when the child gets older telling them the true story. The emotions and psyche are forever going to be messed up. Also, the living children are going to be grieving a sibling. This is so wrong to me!! Needless to say, she picked a couple on the east coast hoping to never see this child again.

Birthmom #2- This child had a adoptive family picked out but on a ultrasound the bones were measuring small so the family backed out. They were told the baby was going to be a dwarf so a dwarf family was found. But, the baby was born last week and the baby is normal so the dwarf family backed out. Our profile was sent yesterday with a few others and she picked a family that lives 10 minutes from her. She wants to see the baby once a month!! I don't know about you but this isn't the kind of adoption I was planning on.

Brian and I have both agreed that these 2 situations were not meant for us. I was very stressed out and I've told myself to relax and it will happen. I didn't get that upset whenever we were told that we were not picked- which amazes me!! I want a baby so bad and would literally do anything to get one. There are more birthmom's in line and I just have to keep patient.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Anxiety overload!

We got a call from our agency on Friday that we have a possible birthmom. They are going to show her profiles on Monday and she has to pick one family out of the three. I am so anxious!!! I know that if this doesn't happen that there will be more but I want it so bad! She is due on Wednesday and they are going to induce on Tuesday and it is a girl. It has happened very fast but we are ready.

Everyone knows how much I enjoy my sleep and I've been up since 6:30 this morning. I feel like I could bust out of my skin!! I have kept busy today and I have to go and teach Sunday school at 5:30 so that will keep my mind off of it until this evening. Then, I will only have one more day to go. So, we need many prayers!!! I will update on Monday to let everyone know what happens.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Feeling Discouraged

I think Brian and I have much higher expectations and thought that we would have a child faster than the process is taking. I feel that it is uncertain and we are basically just waiting for a mom to "give her child away." We have been in the domestic adoption since mid-April and I know that it has not been that long but we are very impatient. We lost Grace in 2006 and we are going on 2 years now.

I just don't feel that things are going our way. First we go to Vietnam and that falls through and now we play the waiting game. I thought that if we opened all the possibilities that something would happen sooner. I know- everyone will say it will happen but I'm sick of waiting. WE ARE READY NOW!!! We were ready yesterday and it's so hard to just wait. I keep busy with sewing, work, friends but it is always on my mind. Everyday I call home to see if they left a message. Everyday there is no call and it bums me out! So, as I sit here and twiddle my thumbs- I patiently wait!!

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Rowan Tree Foundation

On August 1st, Brian and I will be attending the Rowan Tree Foundation yearly fundraiser. The night includes a silent auction, eating, casino night and much more!! We went last year and we had a blast. The event raises money to help bereaving families and much more.

Rowan Tree Foundation has put a statue in the park, had a butterfly release (which was absolutely amazing) and we had a December dedication at the statue. My friend, Corinne- is the founder and executive director and I couldn't ask for someone more special to me. She has helped me in many ways and I can never thank her enough for what she has done. Please think about donating-- you can donate at her website Even if you don't live in Colorado- you can still buy a ticket and not attend. We need all the help we can get so that we can touch others lives who are hurting from the most awful experience that I've ever endured. This organization is awesome and they have done great things for many people.

Last year I nominated Corinne for the 7 Everyday Hero and she received the award and it was aired in January. She is an amazing person!! Please check out the link to meet Corinne.

Walk to Remember

I am one of the 10 or so volunteers that is helping to make the Walk to Remember continue on this year. The walk was done by 2 amazing women and I have no idea how they did this themselves. It is a lot of man hours and planning to pull this event off. The website is and it will be live in the next week. If you can't attend, please donate!!! All of the donations go towards bereavement bags and they are given to the local hospitals for families who lose a child. I am so thankful that we were given our bag. It had tons of information and support-- it was amazing!!!

My hope and plan is to provide all hospitals in the surrounding area the information to give to bereaving families. Please check it out whenever you get a chance!!